Compromising can help you to have better relationships at home and work. But it doesn’t always come easily. These strategies will make compromising feel almost like second nature.

What if you could make all your interactions healthier and stronger? With your boss, co-workers, kids, friends, neighbours, family, or spouse. That is possible… if you’re willing to comprise. The key to having better relationships as an adult is a skill you probably learned back in kindergarten. However, most of us lose our meet-in-the-middle sensibilities as we get older and grow fond of our set ways.

In the name of peace and harmony, it’s useful to take a refresher on how to make everyone—including you—a little happier when conflict arises. Remember it isn’t about giving up everything you want; it’s about being willing to let go of something, and convincing the other person to do the same, so everyone walks away satisfied. Here’s how.

Set your terms
Compromising means that you are not getting everything you want, so figure out your must-haves. For example, if you feel like you and your spouse are on different money planets (you are a saver and your spouse is a spender), don’t ask your spouse to cut back entirely. Instead, ask him or her to identify only a few areas he or she would be OK to spend less on and offer to have a joint splurge from time to time.

Tell a story
Research has suggested that people are more likely to respond to an idea when it’s illustrated by a good story. So if you’re trying to teach your kids to be more charitable, skip the preaching and share a specific, real-life bedtime story of how people you know reached common ground. Bonus points if the lead character in the story is you.

Be the nicest version of yourself
There are lots of other small adjustments you can make when proposing a compromise to make the idea more acceptable. Avoid finishing sentences with a slight raise in your tone, which suggests indecisiveness. Friendly eye contact and smiling signal that you empathize with the other person and are suggesting a reasonable alternative. Flattery does help. A study found that in a challenging compromise situation – buying a used car – compliments eased tensions and were effective. Start your negotiation by skipping the car talk and first telling the owner what a wonderful family he or she has, the study authors suggested.